Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Danielle Smith rebuffed by PC nominators

Phil Burpee

     Poor Danielle. She thought she understood the game. It's just that she seems to have confused badminton for Junior 'A' hockey, and now wishes maybe she'd worn a helmet – looking a tad dazed. She appears for all the world like the cat who drops a nasty one smack dab in the middle of Mom's best plush-pile carpet, then goes off all innocent to sun herself on the windowsill. Mom comes in – sees the deed – grabs the broom, and whack! - kitty gets unceremoniously launched out the back door mucho pronto - mmrreeooooww....! I mean to say – for an educated person, Ms. Smith seems to have a remarkably poor grasp of the general laws of consequence.

     Ah well – goes around certainly does come around. Perhaps the most salient aspect of the whole spectacle is just how badly, and apparently easily, all those Wildrose turncoats got suckered in by our slick and oily new Premier. I can't help but figure that Mr. Prentice saw the whole thing unfolding along a predictable flight path – visions of political sugarplums dancing in his head as he slept contentedly beneath his silk sheets. First, eviscerate the opposition by luring the core of its body politic into the PC fold. Tout them as true Albertans and lovers of democracy. Then watch from the sidelines as their respective electorates either tear them to shreds in righteous fury at their traitorous antics, or the floor-crossing carpet-soilers themselves get panicky all on their own and announce imminent departure from politics 'for family reasons'. Either way, the PCs have performed an impressive rout, and a profoundly cynical regard for democratic process sets its roots a little deeper into the fly-blown dirt.

     Meanwhile, freshly-minted Wildrose leader Brian Jean hits the road running as the first of what will likely be an entertaining upcoming series of brand new bozo-eruptions hits the headlines. The rump of the Wildrose now wanders disconsolately in the political wilderness of right-wing Alberta politics, howling and wailing like ghosts and phantoms, searching for their lost purpose – and trying to figure how they missed that steamin' blue Tory semi that came barrelling out of right field and ploughed right through their big diesel tour bus............nothing left but a big crumpled rose languishing in the ditch along with some beer cans and a squashed 'Tim-bit' box. Maybe that'll teach them to look both ways.

     You gotta laugh. It's like some horrible black comedy farce – 'Hamlet' meets 'Dragon's Den' - “Alas, poor Danielle – I knew her well”..... “I'll give you a hundred and fifty grand and take forty percent of the vote” - and splat! - everybody gets a cream pie in the face. I think a good argument could be made to the effect that all these people are sociopaths – bearing no actual ill will towards their fellow citizens, but yet all the while unable to distinguish between moral and immoral actions. Perhaps it might be instructive to just think of them as children – or bad kitties. At the first sign of any scratching around, better to reach for the broom and start swinging. You know – give the little beggars an inch, and they'll take the whole Red Mile, like so many boozed-up, post-game rioters.

Phil Burpee
Pincher Creek, Alberta

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