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Sunday, August 6, 2017

A time to heal part 2

Chris Ney - Sometimes we can get to a place where we think something has changed so that is good enough and we quit pushing forward for the healing we really need. We just do enough to take the pain of the situation off even if only temporarily and for the sake of the easy road we just get by. I have been just as guilty for this then anyone, I have done what was needed to get the job done both in the church and in my family and tried to balance these things on my own. Looking to God to fix my situation instead of looking to Him to heal my heart, mind and soul. Something I have been learning through all of this is that we can almost all the time get ourselves to a break even point in life, and sometimes we can put on such a great mask that we can make it look even better; but that God wants us to be more and He wants to heal us to the core of who He has created us to be. God wants to heal us to the very depths of our souls, through all the past hurts, struggles, and loss. You name it and God is there wanting to see you healed from it. I am not saying that God is a magic genie that grants everyone’s wishes and heals everyone, the truth is that is just not true, but in who He is, He does want the best for us and really wants us to be operating in the fullness of how He created us to be.

I have been learning this the hard way as of late in working through things in my life I had buried and tried really hard to not think of. In the end though it was just haunting me and creating a wall of hiding and silence that revealed itself in anger sometimes and control. Things were good while it was all under control but when it started to get out of control the anxiety would build up and fear would creep in. This was not what or how God wanted me to live or lead the church or my family. It would feel like if I could hide behind the wall then no one could see the hurt inside or the insecurities that I would wrestle with every day. No one would see or know about the sleepless nights and how I really felt. You could be saying to yourself "Man this guy is all messed up," and you would be right lol, I felt messed up. Then through my wife and the working of the leadership around me God intervened and got my attention; which then drove me to attend a conference that addressed soul care. I went because I was told to but I never for one minute would have expected God to do what He did there.

The masks were off at this point and there was no more hiding, and in a room full of strangers it was easy to just be there and let God work. We started on the first day talking about identity and religious spirits and so I listened and at first I thought this would be easy. That was not the case it was just the first on many sessions that would begin to change the course of my life forever. I had the head knowledge of who God was and who I was but this was taking it from the head to the heart and for the first time God began to show me my flaws in these areas but He didn’t just leave me there, He began to show grace and forgiveness as I asked for it through living in fear because I really didn’t believe He was enough that I was even worthy of being loved and yet God, the creator of the universe reached down at that moment in time and reminded me that I was enough and that He loved me. Even though I was a mess and full of anger He loved me. It was the first time I really began to feel it and not just hear it.

I was learning about Him and myself, that even through my chaos God was waiting right there to begin the healing process and He did that by affirming who I was to Him. He also did that by showing me it was not about religion, but about really knowing who He is. He began to show me that I need to slow down, love my wife and family like He loves me, totally unconditionally. It was so weird because as He was tearing down these things in me I could see things more clearly. In the process, which was only step, one I could feel the healing hand of a loving Father reaching down to repair this broken mess. Maybe I am alone in this, wrestling with who I am, with fear, with hurts, and anxiety and this is just a waste of an article but then again maybe I am not alone. Maybe you have lived in fear or out of fear and hurt the people around you as it exposed itself in anger or control and you have no idea how to get past it. Maybe yours looks different but you live with this anxiety everyday that you just can’t shake but you want it to go away. This is just where the Father wants you so He can begin to do the work in you. I didn’t believe I was worth it either but you are, and God loves you more then you can ever imagine.

If you already know God in this way and there is nothing that you feel is in the way of a relationship with Him then I would urge you to find someone who needs some love and show them the Father. If you know Him but maybe this resonates a bit then maybe its time to evaluate if you are following Him under a religious spirit or in freedom so you can really know Him beyond just a head knowledge and really live in Him and the freedom that it brings. If you do not know Him in then it is not to late, the Father wants to know you and have a close relationship with you. There is no magic formula but all you need to do is confess Jesus is Lord and believe that God has raised Jesus from the dead and you will be in relationship with a Father who already loves you and wants the best for you.

This just the beginning of my journey that I am hoping to share with you all over the next few weeks but if nothing else comes of this then that is ok, but if you are sitting there and this sounds like something you know someone is going through or maybe you are then I would urge you to reach out and lets grab a coffee. If not with me then find someone you can trust to share with them so you to can begin the healing process. It is hard and as you will see for the next few weeks it gets rough at times but in all of it to feel Gods love in real time it is all worth it. In the healing you find freedom you have never known and a peace you could only have dreamed of. I am still on this journey but I know more and more the love of the Father and it is awesome. You don’t have to live in fear, anger or control if you don’t want to freedom is right there if you are willing to take the first step.

You are Loved!

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