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Sunday, August 27, 2017

A time to heal part 5

Chris Ney - As I have come through this journey and shared it with you, it has been still tough to work through and yet there has been so much joy. It has literally been one of the toughest things I have had to do as I have examined the past, and present hoping to change the future patterns and life for both myself, my family and the community. It is a life long journey that as I started going through couldn’t wrap my head around.

When this all started I bounced from angry to bitter, frustrated and full of blame, I would get mad at God and others for this situation. Then it got to a point where it changed from that to feeling not worthy enough to be loved or that I was worth my family or God's love and it was a dark place to be. I could not see out until in one moment of a quiet time pleading out to God trying to find my way and it was in the midst of the darkness I felt the Father pick up my head and say, “If you trust me I have got this”. It was at that moment I began to remember His promises and who I was in Him. It took time to let it sink in to what I was thinking, to something I could feel and really believe was real. Time went by and the Father began to put the pieces back together and the more I leaned on Him the more He worked. It was something that became less about others and how I was right as all cost, and more about how I have been and have affected others with my passion and zeal.

What I began to realize is that I was finding myself in the things I was doing, I was finding my worth in the coaching, family, and church. My identity was being found in what others thought of me and treated me, and not found in something solid. What I was learning was I worked a lot in my own power and rested in my own ability and that tank was running dry. I had exhausted my wife, my family and those around me, that has to change. So I began to walk and lean on the Father, and as I did I began to see there was another way. I didn’t have to strive so hard and drain the people around me; I could be one that gave life.

I started diving deeper into who I was, and not just a family tree but me personally on who I was. I started to see just how God sees me and how He wants the best for me. He didn’t see my failures and faults, He sees me as one of His children, beloved, free and redeemed by the payment that His son Jesus had to pay. That is had value and purpose that far beyond myself, it was in Him and that no matter what I have done the Father is right there ready to pick me up and carry me through. This may sound like a crutch but let me assure you it wasn’t; just because He is there and loves you doesn’t mean there isn’t pain along the road. There is for sure!

As we have journeyed through the last 5 weeks I have shared multiple topics where I have worked through and will continue to work through. This last one comes down to identity, not what is on your driver license or passport but what is your root identity. Who are you if your job is gone, your family is gone and it is just you. I had to learn the hard way that I wasn’t who I thought I was, I thought I could say I am Gods child but then didn’t really have that driven into my heart. It was only when I had it start to sink in that I could also begin to find joy, hope and freedom. I am still in this process, it is a day-by-day journey that will not end until 5 min after my last breath but it is so worth it. This same journey can be for you as well.

No matter your past, or your current situation the Father wants to know you but He will not force His way into your life or situations. He desires the best for you and in that He also waits for you to invite Him in. I had to get to the point where everything could have been gone for Him to get my attention, that doesn’t have to be your story. If you know Him then maybe its time to slow down and look to Him and look inside to see if you are living as one of His children, do you know how loved you are and how much worth there is in you, the Father loves you so much He gave His son for you. If you don’t know Him, today could be the day that it is time for change, time to stop trying so hard to do it yourself and to look to the Father for new life. Ask Him for forgiveness and turn to Him as Lord and save you. He will forgive you and has already done the work for you and gave His life for you as payment. He paid for everything we have done, or will do because He loves us. He loves you and I am living now in the light of how much He loves me. If you have questions about this or anything don’t hesitate to get a hold of me anytime, I would love to do coffee anytime.

You are loved

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