Monday, April 1, 2019

re. the Jason Kenney platform

Phil Burpee - I like to think I’m a discerning voter, and so I thought I’d better have a good gander at Jason Kenney’s UCP electoral platform to help me determine whether or not I might toss him my vote. And even though I see Mr. Kenney elicit a great wave of warmth and fuzziness amongst those who follow his pronouncements all up and down the province, I want nonetheless to get to the bones of the matter. Democracy demands no less. So, let’s see…… here’s what I’ve cobbled together to date.

   He will repeal the Carbon Tax and replace it with an honour system which encourages heavy polluters to play more nice in the sandbox, while advocating further endless debate over irrefutable climate science – a good start here.

   He will recalibrate Alberta’s economy back towards heavy dependence on the hydrocarbon sector, and dispense with all this twaddle about economic diversification.

   He will begin a process of selling off Crown lands for quick cash to replace operational funds lost through tax breaks to big business, thus liquidating this cumbersome heritage of the people’s collective birthright.

   He will threaten the governments of B.C. and Canada with an extended hissy-fit by way of achieving compliance with the Trans-Mountain Pipeline Expansion project.

   He will give the new schools curriculum a stern eyeball and consider following his good friend Doug Ford’s lead over in Ontario by rolling the whole thing back a few decades.

   He will empower teachers to snitch on kids who are trying to address their sexual confusions through accessing the safe spaces of GSAs, and thus reinstate parental dominance over young adults’ lives – mustn’t spare the rod.

   He will freeze education spending and divert public funds accordingly to exclusive sectarian schools which rightly seek to avoid having their hallways cluttered up with riff-raff from the working poor.

   He will similarly freeze health spending to – uh - divert public funds accordingly to exclusive private clinics which rightly seek to avoid having their surgeries cluttered up with riff-raff from the working poor.

   He will demonstrate (and this is not exactly platform, but speaks to the man’s sterling character) that it is possible to spend your entire working career decrying governmental taxation while all the while living off the taxpayer’s dollar. Impressive stuff.

   This review has helped me a lot. I think I’m ready.

Phil Burpee
Pincher Creek

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